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Anyone who read my newsletter last week knows that Bee turned 1 year on Monday (and if you didn’t read it, well shame on you! Sign up for it here and I’ll throw in my 5 tricks to cooking dinner with a toddler underfoot!). Her birthday was a quiet celebration. Hubby had the day off from work. We went to the park, played in the pool, and spent the rest of the time playing with all of her new toys. We had macaroni and cheese and BBQ’d hot dogs for dinner (two of her favorites) and we had cupcakes decorated with butterflies for dessert.
My beautiful little Bee,
It’s so hard to believe that a year has gone by since the day you were born. A year since I spent those lovely 30 hours in labor. A year since your daddy and I met you.
You have changed and grown so much. It’s hard not to feel a little sad about it all. Just a year ago you were a tiny little 5lbs, 15oz newborn that spent all of her time eating, sleeping, and dirtying diapers!
Today you are nearly 4 times the size you were when your daddy and I brought you home! Not only that, you no longer spend most of your day eating, sleeping, and dirtying diapers. Sure, you still do all of those things, but the better part of your time is spent exploring your world and being the silliest, funniest little girl I know.
Your best friends are your blankie, your doggies, and your daddy. It seems like I’m just your go-to when you’re upset or you need something! Whenever we play together, it usually ends with you slapping me in the face, laughing about it, and then getting in trouble. Or biting me. Both things you NEVER do to anyone else.
Your opinion about food changes daily. One day you love a certain food, the next you won’t touch it. Two things you are always consistent with: green beans & macaroni and cheese. You hate green beans and have since the first time you tried them six months ago. You love macaroni and cheese. You’ll devour any pasta, really, but mac ‘n cheese is your favorite.
You act like you’re never going to learn to walk and this week you finally decided to start rolling from your back to your stomach! I’ve been lying to doctors for months about your rolling issues! You won’t even try to walk on your own and you seem to have no interest in learning! I know one day you’ll have it figured out and I am in no rush for that day to arrive.
It’s so hard to believe that one day, in just 17 years, you’ll be a full fledged legal adult.
How is that even possible?!
How can this little girl who crawls around with her blankie, drinks from sippy cups, and has horrible hand-eye coordination (compared to me!) become a grown woman?
It’s sad knowing that the cuddles we share before you go to bed and when you wake up will one day disappear. That your poor attempts at butterfly kisses will someday be replaced with eye rolls. I’m trying to soak it all in now, while I can, before all the cute, sweet little things you do today die off just as our late night Mommy & Bee parties and sleepy days on the couch did.
I suppose it won’t all be bad. At least when you’re older I (hopefully) won’t be changing your diaper! And you won’t scream at me for putting you in your car seat (you’ve hated that thing since the day we brought you home).
Parts of me wish I could stop time and keep you from getting any bigger than you already are. Other parts can’t wait to watch you become the young woman you are destined to be.
I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love you.
I never stopped loving you the first time you pooped on me or the time you projectile vomited all over that hotel room when you were 5 weeks old. I’ll love you even when you break my favorite picture frame and when you lie to me about why you didn’t make it home before curfew. I’ll still love you when you ignore my advice and make decisions that do nothing but make your life harder. And when you decide the boy you’re infatuated with is more important than me, I won’t stop loving you. Not for a second.
You are my daughter. My little girl. No matter how old you get, no matter how far apart we may one day grow, you will always be my baby girl.
I love you so much, Bee. Happy birthday.