Stop Turning Your Little Boy into a Little Girl!

A true man is a dying breed and who's to blame? The women raising today's young "men".

It’s been over 2 years since I realized I was pregnant with Bee.  And, although I knew I was having a child, it would still be over 3 months before I learned whether she would be a boy or a girl. 3 months of name planning with the hubby. 3 months of searching for two perfect cribs. 3 months of planning the bedroom theme for both a boy & a girl.

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Hubby & I had a bet. He bet Bee was a boy. I bet Bee was a girl. And the stakes were high! We almost never went out to eat, but winner got to pick a restaurant to celebrate at on the following Saturday.

The day of the ultrasound seemed to draw out. My appointment wasn’t until 4:15pm, over 12 hours after I woke up for work that morning!

I remember being so excited to finally leave work and head to the hospital. All I cared about was learning the gender! What were we having?

After that day, my baby would no longer be an “it”. “It” would be a he or a she.

Once we got to the hospital, we had to wait in the waiting room for about 15 minutes. Then we had to wait patiently for nearly two more hours while the new ultrasound tech in training struggled to complete a procedure that normally takes about 30 minutes.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the woman overseeing and training the newbie asked if we wanted to know the gender.

Hubby & I both replied with an urgent, “Yes!”

The more experienced technician took the wand from the new guy, rolled it around my belly for a couple seconds and stopped.

“Do you see that?” she asked.

This was my first child, I had no clue what I was looking at. I remember saying something to the extent of, “Uh, sure… yeah. I see something, I guess.”

She asked if we knew what it meant and we both just sort of gave her a confused look.

“You’re having a girl!”

Immediately I looked at my husband and began my verbal celebration. I won! I got to pick the restaurant! WOOT! In. Your. Face.!!!

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In all honesty, I didn’t care whether our child was a boy or a girl. Hubby was the one who initiated the bet and he was the one who was really hoping our little Bee would be a little Max. After 5 miscarriages and 8 years without answers, I was simply happy to have a healthy baby, regardless of gender.

On the drive home from the hospital I started telling family members the gender of our unborn child. I texted my mom saying, “Your granddaughter weighs a whopping 9 ounces.” I sent very similar texts to my mother-in-law, my brother and my sister-in-law. I was so excited to finally have an answer! I now knew the name of the baby growing inside of me.

We got home & life went on. I showered, I made dinner, I watched some TV. Then I got on Pinterest.

I had created three boards when I found out I was pregnant. There was a general baby/parenting board, a board for Bee and a board for Max.

Max didn’t even exist, so I decided I needed to delete his board.

As I scrolled through the pins on his board. I just couldn’t bring myself to delete any of it! The rustic crib, the 8 different styles of rustic crib bedding that Hubby couldn’t decide on, the cute mounted stuffed animal heads… all the camo overalls and flannel onsies. We had big plans for Max. He was going to be a boy and treated as such.

As I sat at my computer staring at all of the little boy things, I began to feel a little sad. I looked over at Hubby and told him deleting the board felt like I was killing someone. Someone whom I’d never met and would never meet. Someone who didn’t even exist.

He laughed at me. Then he made fun of me.

My husband isn’t exactly the sensitive type and, honestly, I try to avoid wearing my emotions on my sleeve, too. His sarcasm and jokes snapped me out of that hormone induced emotional state & I, too, began to make fun of what I’d just said.

DELETE.

And there it was. With the click of a button, the idea of Max died. The football games, the baseball practices, fishing, hunting, catching frogs and snakes. The scraped up knees and broken bones. School suspensions, his first fight, his first girlfriend. His wife and the kids who would carry on our last name.

My little boy.

He had never existed and he never would.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that boys and girls are very different. And I believe they should be treated as different people. Boys should be raised as if they will one day be men and girls should be raised as if they will one day be women.

Call it closed minded, call it bigoted, I don’t care, but Max wouldn’t have been caught dead in a tutu whether he “believed” that’s what he wanted to wear or not (sorry, Jen Anderson Shattuck, but you’re only doing your son a disservice by teaching him it’s okay to dress up like a girl).

And yes, I’m still going to teach my daughter how to do some things that might be considered by some to be “boyish” & “manly”.

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She will learn how to hunt, how to fish, how to clean an animal and how to skin it. She’ll also be taught how to cook what she kills and how to preserve it. She’ll know how to change a tire and handle basic maintenance and upkeep on a vehicle. Because in my mind, these aren’t things only men should know or activities they alone should take part in. These are skills that may, one day, come in very handy. These are skills that could save her life.

I don’t mean to sound like one of those “The End Is Near!” loonies, but if there is ever a time when we can no longer rely on the grocery store to supply us with our food, my daughter will know how to get food herself. And if she gets a flat tire in the middle of no where, she shouldn’t need to rely on a strange passerby to help her fix it.

Had Bee been born Max, he would have been expected to participate in boy activities. Football, baseball, wrestling. And you can bet your ass he wouldn’t have seen the inside of a dance studio or been allowed to try out for the high school cheer leading squad.

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If he was a “naturally” sensitive & emotional person, well, he would have probably grown to hate his parents. He’d never own a single pink item, even if it was his favorite color. He would have been taught that only babies and girls cry. He would know that men are supposed to protect and provide for their families. He would have learned the term “woman’s work” from his father regarding anything related to cleaning or cooking. And he would have known that his mother thought very little of any man who openly expresses his emotions with tears.

Whether it took or not, we would raise him to be a man. The stereotypical, old school, most likely chauvinistic (by today’s standards) male.

A rare and dying breed.

A man who wouldn’t be afraid to stand up for what he believed in, to do whatever he needed to keep his family safe, fed and comfortable. The kind of man I would be proud to see my daughter marry.

Today, this type of man is hard to find.

It isn’t how people raise their sons anymore. I’ve been noticing it more and more recently. Moms who coddle their young boys. Moms who hug them and hold them and rock them when they smash a finger or stub a toe. Moms who treat their young men with the same empathy & sympathy that should only be shown towards girls.

And, unsurprisingly, as the number of soft moms seems to grow, as does the number of young “men” who are hurt by words, who need a safe place, and who believe in bullies.

| It’s your fault your kid is being bullied |

It’s absolutely disturbing to see so many “men” who aren’t really men. I feel like one of the luckiest women in the world to have actually found a real, strong man. A man who I’ve never seen cry, a man who doesn’t share his “feelings” unless he has to, a man who wasn’t raised to believe in bullies.  His parents did an amazing job of creating a real man and for that I am forever thankful.

Moms, please… for the sake of my daughter, for the sake of my future grandchildren, for the sake of America.

Do us all a favor and stop treating your sons like girls.
Stop turning them into women.

I recommend anyone considering leaving a comment read my disclaimer before doing so. I’m fine with people who have differing opinions, but aggression, threats and vulgarity will not be tolerated. Don’t waste your time writing a comment that will be deleted.

A true man is a dying breed and who's to blame? The women raising the boys of today. Please, for the sake of my daughter & future grandchildren, stop treating your little boy like he' s a little girl!

177 thoughts on “Stop Turning Your Little Boy into a Little Girl!

  • April 13, 2017 at 1:13 am
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    I couldn’t disagree more with this post. Our world is changing and we need to change along with it. Sticking to antique gender stereotypes is simply damaging in the modern world. My son is 12. He is a keen football player and is on the school basketball team, he loves riding his bike and hanging out playing x box with his friends. He is a typical 12 year old. He goes to an all boys school. He belongs to the scouts. However he has balance in his life. He also plays the violin to an exceptionally high standard and he has a passion for dance and drama. He is excellent at all academic subjects at school but wants to study expressive arts. One of his favourite t-shirts is pink and when he is sad, he cries. As a parent I know I have brought up a balanced child that understands the world as it is today and will become a man without prejudices. A man who loves unconditionally and understands emotion. A decent and kind human being. To me, that is a true man.

    Reply
    • May 23, 2017 at 12:53 pm
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      You said, “our world is changing”, but you fail to ask; “Is it for the better?”

      An important question, don’t you think?

      The truth is that it is the Progressive Left that is determining what our “society” is like. And it is people who know this direction is wrong and not changing it back because they don’t have the guts to that are the problem. People who are scared that the Left won’t like it. Sorry, but it’s true.

      I am so tired of people saying, “Hey, it’s now!”

      I’m sorry, but I don’t look at a calendar to decide what’s true and right and moral and for whether boys should be raised to be men or women.

      But it seems from your “calendar type” comment, that you do and that for you, when the Progressive Left speaks, especially 3rd Wave Feminists who are on a mission to emasculate men, then you have your new rules to live by. Sad.

      I suggest that you (and everyone) read:

      “Marxist Feminism’s Ruined Lives”, by Mallory Millet

      She is the sister of Kate Millet, one of the founders of NOW and she was there at the first meetings when they were formalizing and stating their mission and she declined her sisters’ invite to help found it. Mallory lays it all out and YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE what they stated their mission to be!

      And yet Kate Millet’s (who always had mental issues) book is required reading in “Womens Studies” (now falsely labeled “Gender Studies”, but are the same, including their misandry toward straight males, especially white) courses in colleges across the country!

      Please, go read it! It’s available on line (Mallory’s). I think the “FrontPage Mag” site has the complete letter.

      TTYL

      Reply
  • April 18, 2017 at 3:23 pm
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    I don’t understand America’s obsession with gender roles. Here boys and girls wear pink and no one gives a crap even though pink is considered a boy’s color. This post honestly seems like a sure way to raise a woman beater, because back in the day that was the manly thing to do.

    Men do cry. Except American ones im starting to find out.

    What also makes no sense to me is that in society your typical gendered things are consistently changing.

    Cheerleading is historically a male thing.
    The color blue was historically a female thing
    Young boys would wear dresses until they were breeched
    men dominated in acting and dance
    men still dominate the cooking world

    all of these things didnt start to change until the mid 20th century

    and are once again changing in the 21st century

    and will change into the 22nd century

    and obviously it varies by country. So this battle of the sexes and gender stereotyping thing is all bull. I wear pink shirts and sometimes a skirt. Its acceptable here and makes me “manly”. If you ever have a little boy who likes skirts and pink don’t break the little guys spirit, just send him over to Europe or Asia, we’ll treat him nicely.

    Reply
    • May 23, 2017 at 1:00 pm
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      Well, I don’t know where you’re from, but it sounds like maybe France, or some other country we had to come and save in the past.

      And now, thanks to you, we know why. 🙂

      I’m just messing with you (no I’m not). 🙂

      Reply
  • April 18, 2017 at 3:57 pm
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    To the author of this post I honestly hope you never have boys. I have two wonderful sons and they are being raised to be “men”. With that being said that doesn’t mean I’m not going to allow them to be sensitive and let them make their own decisions about who they want to be. It’s because of people with closed minds like yours that the world is how it is. This post makes me so incredibly sad.

    Reply
  • April 19, 2017 at 5:56 am
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    This kind of toxic thinking is why there are over masculan men who beat women.

    Reply
  • April 20, 2017 at 3:22 am
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    I agree with everything except the cooking and cleaning part. If I have a boy I would teach him how to cook and how to do laundry so that when he moves out he can do it for himself. As one of the very lucky few that actually has a man in her life (a real man, not a girl man) I can appreciate not wanting your son to wear makeup, love pink and have hair that is longer and shinier than most girls. Everyone is too sensitive these days, I applaud you for wanting to raise a boy that way.

    Reply
    • April 20, 2017 at 5:27 am
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      Hi Tara!

      To be fair, I feel my statement about cooking and cleaning has been taken out of context by just about everyone. I said my hypothetical son would be told it was “women’s work”, but that doesn’t mean they are things he wouldn’t be taught. Just as I’ll teach my daughter how to change a tire or mow the yard and tell her these tasks are generally a man’s responsibility.

      Thanks for stopping by! It’s always great hearing from like minded people!

      Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 11:06 am
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    Right, because basic human emotions are just for girls to experience. I can assure you my husband is ‘manly’, and we are raising our boys to be ‘manly’ as well. That means allowing them to experience emotions and express them. I encourage you to do some research on mental health and how suppressing a child’s feelings sets them up for failure later on in life. And I really hope you are never given the opportunity to raise a son, what a disservice to our future generation that would be!

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 11:54 am
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    The thing is, you don’t actually HAVE to belittle your hypothetical son into being perfect image of a man. Model the behaviors you want to see in your children and leave it alone. What you will be teaching him, if you fixate on “what a true, manly man does, and what a sissy-boy does”, is to think less of women [and treat them as such], to think less of anyone who is not like him [and treat them as such]. You will teach him to be hateful. And if you think that being hateful is praiseworthy, than I guess we will never see eye to eye.

    You want to raise a real Manly-Man? Show him respect, and teach him to respect others–both men and women, all races, all religions. That other stuff is just a hobby. It doesn’t make you any better or worse than the next. I want my daughter’s husband to be compassionate above all else.

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 12:24 pm
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    So basically, you want your daughter marry an asshole? I’m glad you deleted that pin board instead of planning to have a son someday. I have 3 boys, they all got love and attention. The oldest one is a teen now, and is a boy you would be proud of. One of the best athletes in his school. Girls love him. He isn’t overly emotional and he has “manly” dreams. If I had forced this lifestyle on him, as you suggest, I don’t think he would have turned out this way. My other boys(one of whom is a still nursing 3 yr Old who gets cuddles and boob when he’s hurt or upset) are on the same track as the oldest. That’s raising boys the right way.

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 12:28 pm
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    I believe in traditional gender roles, and that men should be manly, but this article sounds a little bit close minded. Maybe because you don’t have a boy… I have a little boy who I love with all my heart. I love that he is a boy, and he is a beautiful human being. He is sensitive, compassionate, and happy, and sometimes gross😉. He loves to show affection, and he cries sometimes to buy him a pink toy, because he “really really want it” 😂, and sometimes I will buy it for him. Nothing wrong with that, he is still a boy. I will hold him, and cuddle him, and kiss him as long as he will allow me to do it. Probably I don’t have much more time left for that, as he is growing up very handsome, and girls in his kindergarten already like to talk to him 😂.

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 1:23 pm
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    If you actually acted this was if you had a boy, you’d be a terrible mom. It makes me hope I will always be the kind of mom that will be there for my kids’ friends if they had an unsupportive, misguided mom. You don’t even have a son lol. You’re out of your element speaking on the topic.

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  • April 21, 2017 at 1:48 pm
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    I honestly feel bad for your kid/kids. This is appalling .

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  • April 21, 2017 at 5:52 pm
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    It’s funny how much you contradict yourself in your own writing. You say that you want to teach your daughter things outside of your typical idea of gender roles ie hunting, fishing, cooking what you kill, changing a flat tire, ect. Yet a boy can not cross into the typical female roles? That is very hypocritical and a surefire way to raise a child who hates themselves and you. Children need to be brought up with compassion, empathy, Nurturing physically, emotionally, and educationally. Children don’t have an internal sense of boys vs girls gender rolls. Both of my son’s play with dolls. Does that mean they are gay or transgendered? Well, maybe, but as of right now it’s an unknown and pretty far off from even finding out. What it does mean is they are showing the compassion, empathy, and Nurturing that I show them, to someone else, the baby doll. My boys also REALLY enjoy quads, dirt bikes, trucks, legos, ect. My daughter on the other hand HATED dolls. She thinks they are creepy. Does that mean she wants to be a man? Nope, absolutely not. It’s just a preference of a CHILD! All you should be concerned about is raising your daughter to be a good person who is tolerant, compassionate, and respectful towards other people. Otherwise she will be as bigoted and misogynist as yourself. Peace and love.

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 6:28 pm
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    Is this an Onion article? Seriously?

    Reply
  • April 21, 2017 at 7:01 pm
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    I could not disagree more with this nonsense. I’m the mother of two wonderful sons and three amazing daughters.

    I think it’s so sad that you’ll not let your (hypothetical) child be who he is. I dislike camo, personal reasons but whatever. My sweet little 7 year old would wear it head to toe every day. Guess what I purchase him? Camo when I see it. Why? Because HE likes it and that’s what matters. If he liked pink or purple I’d buy that too. I love my children just the way they are.

    I hope my children never become little mini-mes or mini-my husband just to earn my respect or love. They’re their own little individual souls and I love it.

    Oh, and occasionally boys cry. My husband is a wonderful, caring man if he’d made it through his grandma’s funeral without shedding a tear I’d think he was a sociopath!

    I feel sorry for your future son-in-law (or daughter-in-law….) I have a feeling there is little s/he will do to please you…it will be even worse for any grandsons…

    Reply
  • May 22, 2017 at 11:08 pm
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    Please, please stop breeding. Don’t do this. You’ll end up the mother of a psychopath….or a future suicide victim. And it’ll be all your fault. Poor kids. Stop now. Learn empathy & teach it freely. To ALL genders. Or adopt them out. Please.

    Reply
  • May 23, 2017 at 1:58 am
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    What?!! Go back to 1950 please. YOUR attitude is the reason why men are taking their own lives.

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    • May 23, 2017 at 12:26 pm
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      Men are taking their own lives in greater numbers today, because they’re being emasculated and told that masculinity is toxic. The majority of men today are emasculated and guess what? It isn’t working. And all of this crap got heavy in the late 60’s, early 70’s, with “real men cry”, etc..

      And this is all thanks to Feminism. Women telling men how to be a man and men thinking that must be what women want then.

      Problems: Women don’t know anything about being a man and they state the opposite of what they want because the truth doesn’t look so good for them and because they want control, not equality.

      Look where the Liberal path has gotten us! Heck, it’s the reason Desteny felt compelled to post what she did!

      Reply
      • May 25, 2017 at 5:35 pm
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        Your stupidity is so thick it makes my head hurt. So all the poor male souls who took their life contacted you first and told you why? Probably didn’t have to do with ridiculous mascuooin expectations like this post supports. That or you’re you’re just full of sh**. You’re- as an evangelical- supporting a blog authored by an atheist.

        Reply
          • May 25, 2017 at 6:23 pm
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            I’m sorry, agnostic. And. Misspelled masculine. Regardless, Dave’s comments are still idiotic.

        • May 25, 2017 at 8:36 pm
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          Hmmm. Well, I see I touched a nerve.

          Reply
          • May 26, 2017 at 10:38 am
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            Yes, misogyny and ignorance tend to…

          • May 26, 2017 at 2:22 pm
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            So misogyny = not wanting boys to be girls and not wanting girls to be boys.

            While of course “correct” thinking means you do.

            So emasculate boys and make girls manly. Sounds like an attempt by women like you to switch roles to me.

            Hmmm… I guess good ‘ol Sigmund was right, since it sounds like penis envy to me.

  • May 23, 2017 at 3:36 am
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    You know what sensitivity and emapthy teach a boy. How to be a well rounded person. You know what dress ups of either gender create, an imagination. Do you know what playing with dolls creates, someone that can be a great father. If you don’t show children (not just boys or girls) these things they will not grow to be a well rounded person. You have no issues in showing your daughter what is stereotypically male orientated but what about showing a boy how to cook clean and do stereotypically female stuff. Or think about how your child will feel if gay .

    Reply
    • May 25, 2017 at 8:39 pm
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      Yes, boys grow up to be well rounded, by being taught to be girls. Sure. Why didn’t I think of that? Lemme guess, girls will be more well rounded by being taught to arm wrestle men for who gets the last prom dress, right? Genius!

      Reply
      • June 2, 2017 at 7:53 am
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        Suggestion, Dave, maybe spend less blustering against feminism and a little more time studying punctuation. Seems you could use a lesson.

        Reply
  • June 2, 2017 at 7:54 am
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    Also, maybe go see Wonder Woman this weekend.

    Reply
    • June 3, 2017 at 5:12 pm
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      Rachel,

      Oh, wow. Well, although I really hate having to be the one to do this, I guess since no one else has so far, it’s up to me to tell you.

      Dear… Sweetheart… I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you this way, but Wonder Woman is not real.

      I’m sorry dear, but no, women can’t actually fight like that, they don’t really have a “lasso of truth” and they can’t really fly around in invisible jets.

      Are you alright? If not and you need to talk about it, just let me know, okay?

      As for going to see Wonder Woman, most men happen to like her. And I’m sure that here in the US, it’d be no problem to get tickets at any brand theater, since they like audience members of both genders.

      But in Australia, it might be tough, considering that the Feminist run theater “Alamo Draughthouse” refuses to let men see the movie, or even work there on the nights it’s showing. Because you know, equality and stuff.

      But of course, with Feminists, there’s always another layer to the hypocrisy! So let’s continue…

      You see, while Feminists like you preach about “toxic masculinity” (i.e., “if it’s male, it’s wrong”) and want boys to be raised as girls (see your own posts) and to “show their emotions” and stuff, it turns out that when something does bother a man and he expresses it, as in this case when men sarcastically asked when the “mens only” showing of “Thor” would be (just to make a point), that Feminists responded quite hypocritically.

      Yes, I know, hypocrisy from a Feminist? How could that be?! Never! 🙂

      But as it turns out, Feminists (including the actress) decided to use “Jessica Jones” standing there with rain coming down on her, which they labeled as; “Fragile Male Tears”.

      So… “Be emotional guys! But if you show even a little bit of feeling, even in the form of sarcasm meant to make a point, then we’ll call you ‘fragile’ and go over the top to ridicule you for it!”

      Feminists have many layers of hypocrisy. But that’s no surprise, since as I’ve said many times, the definition of Feminism is:

      Feminism = Self-Contradictory Hypocrisy

      By the way, before we continue, just so I don’t smash any more bubbles on you, you don’t still believe in the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus, or anything like that, do you???

      Reply
      • June 3, 2017 at 5:47 pm
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        Dave, maybe you should question why you’re so afraid of strong females. Are you that weak? I guessing, yes. Yes, you are.

        Reply
        • June 3, 2017 at 6:35 pm
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          Rachel,

          Yes, you’re right. I am afraid. I have a terrible case of “misandriphobia”! 🙂

          Dave

          Reply
  • July 1, 2017 at 11:51 am
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    Hi Desteny!
    I didn’t hate this article, actually I really enjoyed big parts of it.
    My son will not wear girls clothes as well, though he loves dressing up with all sorts of heads and scarfs.
    We will be, like his daddy does, learn (how to) provide and protect for his future family. He will also learn that emotions are aloud and how to handle them. My daughter will learn the same what emotions concearn, emotians makes us human, it is our soul.
    I’ll tell you why I feel this way.
    I was concieved by a man that farmed and handles his offspring to my mom. He made us all work the farm, which is not a bad thing. It is a bad thing when his kids are beaten every time he feels like it. It is bad that this was considered ‘manly’ and ‘fatherly’ behavior. It is bad that when my exhausted mom showed some emotion things happened what no child should ever witness.
    It is bad that my brother did not have any friends, for all their free time they needed to work from the age of 7-8. They never had B-day parties. My little brother was seen as a freak on school. He smelled bad because he wasn’t allowed to throw his clothes in the laundry.
    So I believe in emotions. I believe in clear difference between men and women, boys and girls.
    The shortest verse in the bible is about the greatest man ever who cried.
    Bless you and keep the good work!

    Reply
  • July 12, 2017 at 1:15 pm
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    How can you even begin to think that you can tell people how to raise THEIR kids? You didn’t even have a boy (thank the lordy ya didn’t)! It almost sounds like you’re homophobic. I don’t understand why you won’t let your children do what they want to do. Sounds pretty controlling to me and I wouldn’t care for you if you were my mom.

    Reply
  • July 18, 2017 at 12:40 am
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    This post is basic a guidebook on how to raise a sociopath or phychopath.

    Reply
  • August 19, 2017 at 7:26 pm
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    I Love this article! I have an 11 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. They are being raised to be the gender that they are. My son is and always will be a mans man. I have no patience for whining boys who are scared of everything. There is mens work and there is womens work and it should stay that way! My little girl will need a man to be a man to protect her and provide for her. It’s so scary to see all of the “sissy” little boys. We were at my sons baseball game all the younger kids were all running around and playing. This one boy who is a little older than my daughter started crying and throwing a fit, his mom goes running to him and coddling him. You want to know what was wrong? A stick was in his way on the ground! Seriously? I sure as heck don’t want someone like that for my daughter. It’s only going to get worse if people continue to raise their boys like babies. There was another boy who was crying because he had a splinter, my daughter told him to suck it up. Even she knows the way it should be.

    Reply

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