Stop Turning Your Little Boy into a Little Girl!

A true man is a dying breed and who's to blame? The women raising today's young "men".

It’s been over 2 years since I realized I was pregnant with Bee.  And, although I knew I was having a child, it would still be over 3 months before I learned whether she would be a boy or a girl. 3 months of name planning with the hubby. 3 months of searching for two perfect cribs. 3 months of planning the bedroom theme for both a boy & a girl.

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Hubby & I had a bet. He bet Bee was a boy. I bet Bee was a girl. And the stakes were high! We almost never went out to eat, but winner got to pick a restaurant to celebrate at on the following Saturday.

The day of the ultrasound seemed to draw out. My appointment wasn’t until 4:15pm, over 12 hours after I woke up for work that morning!

I remember being so excited to finally leave work and head to the hospital. All I cared about was learning the gender! What were we having?

After that day, my baby would no longer be an “it”. “It” would be a he or a she.

Once we got to the hospital, we had to wait in the waiting room for about 15 minutes. Then we had to wait patiently for nearly two more hours while the new ultrasound tech in training struggled to complete a procedure that normally takes about 30 minutes.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the woman overseeing and training the newbie asked if we wanted to know the gender.

Hubby & I both replied with an urgent, “Yes!”

The more experienced technician took the wand from the new guy, rolled it around my belly for a couple seconds and stopped.

“Do you see that?” she asked.

This was my first child, I had no clue what I was looking at. I remember saying something to the extent of, “Uh, sure… yeah. I see something, I guess.”

She asked if we knew what it meant and we both just sort of gave her a confused look.

“You’re having a girl!”

Immediately I looked at my husband and began my verbal celebration. I won! I got to pick the restaurant! WOOT! In. Your. Face.!!!

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In all honesty, I didn’t care whether our child was a boy or a girl. Hubby was the one who initiated the bet and he was the one who was really hoping our little Bee would be a little Max. After 5 miscarriages and 8 years without answers, I was simply happy to have a healthy baby, regardless of gender.

On the drive home from the hospital I started telling family members the gender of our unborn child. I texted my mom saying, “Your granddaughter weighs a whopping 9 ounces.” I sent very similar texts to my mother-in-law, my brother and my sister-in-law. I was so excited to finally have an answer! I now knew the name of the baby growing inside of me.

We got home & life went on. I showered, I made dinner, I watched some TV. Then I got on Pinterest.

I had created three boards when I found out I was pregnant. There was a general baby/parenting board, a board for Bee and a board for Max.

Max didn’t even exist, so I decided I needed to delete his board.

As I scrolled through the pins on his board. I just couldn’t bring myself to delete any of it! The rustic crib, the 8 different styles of rustic crib bedding that Hubby couldn’t decide on, the cute mounted stuffed animal heads… all the camo overalls and flannel onsies. We had big plans for Max. He was going to be a boy and treated as such.

As I sat at my computer staring at all of the little boy things, I began to feel a little sad. I looked over at Hubby and told him deleting the board felt like I was killing someone. Someone whom I’d never met and would never meet. Someone who didn’t even exist.

He laughed at me. Then he made fun of me.

My husband isn’t exactly the sensitive type and, honestly, I try to avoid wearing my emotions on my sleeve, too. His sarcasm and jokes snapped me out of that hormone induced emotional state & I, too, began to make fun of what I’d just said.

DELETE.

And there it was. With the click of a button, the idea of Max died. The football games, the baseball practices, fishing, hunting, catching frogs and snakes. The scraped up knees and broken bones. School suspensions, his first fight, his first girlfriend. His wife and the kids who would carry on our last name.

My little boy.

He had never existed and he never would.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that boys and girls are very different. And I believe they should be treated as different people. Boys should be raised as if they will one day be men and girls should be raised as if they will one day be women.

Call it closed minded, call it bigoted, I don’t care, but Max wouldn’t have been caught dead in a tutu whether he “believed” that’s what he wanted to wear or not (sorry, Jen Anderson Shattuck, but you’re only doing your son a disservice by teaching him it’s okay to dress up like a girl).

And yes, I’m still going to teach my daughter how to do some things that might be considered by some to be “boyish” & “manly”.

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She will learn how to hunt, how to fish, how to clean an animal and how to skin it. She’ll also be taught how to cook what she kills and how to preserve it. She’ll know how to change a tire and handle basic maintenance and upkeep on a vehicle. Because in my mind, these aren’t things only men should know or activities they alone should take part in. These are skills that may, one day, come in very handy. These are skills that could save her life.

I don’t mean to sound like one of those “The End Is Near!” loonies, but if there is ever a time when we can no longer rely on the grocery store to supply us with our food, my daughter will know how to get food herself. And if she gets a flat tire in the middle of no where, she shouldn’t need to rely on a strange passerby to help her fix it.

Had Bee been born Max, he would have been expected to participate in boy activities. Football, baseball, wrestling. And you can bet your ass he wouldn’t have seen the inside of a dance studio or been allowed to try out for the high school cheer leading squad.

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If he was a “naturally” sensitive & emotional person, well, he would have probably grown to hate his parents. He’d never own a single pink item, even if it was his favorite color. He would have been taught that only babies and girls cry. He would know that men are supposed to protect and provide for their families. He would have learned the term “woman’s work” from his father regarding anything related to cleaning or cooking. And he would have known that his mother thought very little of any man who openly expresses his emotions with tears.

Whether it took or not, we would raise him to be a man. The stereotypical, old school, most likely chauvinistic (by today’s standards) male.

A rare and dying breed.

A man who wouldn’t be afraid to stand up for what he believed in, to do whatever he needed to keep his family safe, fed and comfortable. The kind of man I would be proud to see my daughter marry.

Today, this type of man is hard to find.

It isn’t how people raise their sons anymore. I’ve been noticing it more and more recently. Moms who coddle their young boys. Moms who hug them and hold them and rock them when they smash a finger or stub a toe. Moms who treat their young men with the same empathy & sympathy that should only be shown towards girls.

And, unsurprisingly, as the number of soft moms seems to grow, as does the number of young “men” who are hurt by words, who need a safe place, and who believe in bullies.

| It’s your fault your kid is being bullied |

It’s absolutely disturbing to see so many “men” who aren’t really men. I feel like one of the luckiest women in the world to have actually found a real, strong man. A man who I’ve never seen cry, a man who doesn’t share his “feelings” unless he has to, a man who wasn’t raised to believe in bullies.  His parents did an amazing job of creating a real man and for that I am forever thankful.

Moms, please… for the sake of my daughter, for the sake of my future grandchildren, for the sake of America.

Do us all a favor and stop treating your sons like girls.
Stop turning them into women.

I recommend anyone considering leaving a comment read my disclaimer before doing so. I’m fine with people who have differing opinions, but aggression, threats and vulgarity will not be tolerated. Don’t waste your time writing a comment that will be deleted.

A true man is a dying breed and who's to blame? The women raising the boys of today. Please, for the sake of my daughter & future grandchildren, stop treating your little boy like he' s a little girl!

186 thoughts on “Stop Turning Your Little Boy into a Little Girl!

  • October 22 at 4:01 pm
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    I would like to share something with you all: My husband is 25, we’ve been married for just over 6 years now, and he hit 6 years in the Army on Oct 21. He will be promoted to E6 – Staff SGT in about 2 weeks. He is a great leader, and he has all the NCOER’s to prove it (basically an annual performance review). He is perfectly cut out for the Army, and he loves being an Infantryman. I want you to understand, this is a strong, rough and tough man, who was raised well by two loving, christian parents, in the heart of Alabama. A man who loves to hike and fish, who grew up playing soccer. This is also a man who:

    1) I have seen cry several times. He cries when he’s stressed, when he’s upset, when he’s happy. He knows there’s a time and a place and a circumstance; but he also trusts that he can vent to his wife and let it all out when/if he needs to. This may come as shock to some of you, but it is in fact mentally and emotionally healthy to express emotions….and who would have thought, men have emotions too!

    2) is empathetic. Also surprising as it may sound, empathy is taught in the Army as a leadership trait! This means that in being a good leader, my husband has to listen to his soldiers who have issues with things like depression and suicidal thoughts, PTSD, and marriages that are falling apart. He has a soldier that regularly calls him to vent and cry and ask for advice. As an NCO, my husband is responsible for these soldiers, in AND outside of work. Do you know what happens to soldiers when they can’t express themselves and/or deal with their emotions? The suicide rate should tell you! While you’re busy looking that up, go ahead and look up the suicide rate + causes for men in America; go ahead, I’ll wait.

    3) is extremely emotional. We like to joke about his astrological sign being Cancer and how well he fits it – hard and crusty on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside! My husband and I are quite opposite in this respect; he needs constant affection and reassurance, he needs to be romanced: I don’t really need anything! For an anniversary once, I got HIM roses, and he loved them! The last Army-sponsored marriage retreat we went on, the topic was The 5 Love Languages, which is a book I would recommend to every couple, regardless of how happy you are (we have a great relationship, and still liked the book a lot!), and I learned so much about what a person like him needs from a relationship, and how I can give it. Let men be people, for crying out loud!

    4) is “naturally sensitive”. This is a man who, as a 3 yr old boy, once got in trouble during church, and was taken out to the bathroom to be popped and corrected; according to my mother-in-law (who is NOT one to believe in coddling), she ended up having to COMFORT him after getting in trouble, because he was so upset he could barely breathe! She said she knew from then on, he was a just a different kind of child than his brothers had been, and she had to raise him a little differently than them. Not that he was coddled or raised as a “special snowflake” as people like to put it. But It’s just true that people are different; men and boys are different from each other! What works for some, does not work for others. That 3 yr old boy is now a 6’5 “beast of a boy”, as my mother-in-law now likes to call him! And guess what? He’s still sensitive. It’s just his nature. He still kills it at being a combat soldier!

    His favorite color is purple; he makes 10x better scrambled eggs than me. He also makes better homemade pizza. He also has a woodworking shop in the garage. He’s been through 3 deployments in 6 years! He’s great at land navigation, and also great at teaching it to other soldiers. He loves roughing it in a sleep system out in the forest when they go out in the field for several weeks on post.

    I say all of this, and use my husband as an example, to say this: let men and boys be human. I find it incredibly sad that this blogger demeans someone like my husband, and that if she had a son like him, he would probably grow up to hate her, because she would refuse to treat her child with human decency and compassion. That’s what I’m hearing anyways. I also use the military examples, because here’s the thing: a lot of Americans think of soldiers as the pillar of strength and manliness. Rightly so! But there is a lot that goes into making a good soldier, and I’m here to tell you, it is not all “snips and snails and puppy dog tails”.

    If you are raising a son that does not know how to do his own laundry, cook his own food (buy his own groceries, for that matter), clean up after himself and keep his barracks room clean (yes, they do have inspections, very often), keep himself in good shape, manage his own money, or mentally and emotionally take care of himself?? I’ve got news for you honey, the military does not want the likes of him! A man who cannot take care of himself is not a “real man”, he is someone else’s chore.

    Reply
  • October 22 at 5:29 pm
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    Hi,

    Great post! 🙂

    I’m not trying to be mean here, just direct. To the woman who said (talking about men) that “when you’re upset, you gotta let your feelings flow… it’s not good to keep it bottled up… so cry”, etc..

    You missed the entire point! As men, NO, WE DO NOT! WE TOUGH IT OUT!

    You are part of the problem. A woman who thinks she’s qualified to tell men how to be men. You’re not now, nor will you ever be qualified to do that.

    This feminist “real men cry” garbage started back in the 70’s, as part of the feminist mission, which is to turn women into men and men into women.

    Now imagine yourself single, but you have a boyfriend. And every time he feels bad, he cries. He also loves fashion, classifies himself as a feminist, watches “Project Runway” and believes in 50/50 relationships.
    Now here’s the thing. He is not your protector. He does not provide for you.

    You see, he bought into your feminist mantra and believes that “Anything a man can do, a woman can do, but better!”, so he looks to you for protection, especially of his feelings and you always pay your own way, because you don’t have the “work is optional for women” to count on any more.

    Do you stay woth this guy? No! Of course not!

    If you have a son, you’re teaching him to be a little girl who will always be friendzoned by women, because on a date, he’s always competing with her to see who gets to be the woman. And it all started with you telling him “Real men show their feelings and cry!”

    If that’s true, then why does that approach make women run away and head for the nearest book store to add to the 80 Million copies of “50 Shades of Gray” already sold?

    And FYI, men are not looking for “strong, independent woman”. Like it or not, we’re not looking for a copy of ourselves. Men who are men, are looking to marry feminine women.

    A Tip: Always remember, “independent” is the exact opposite of “married”. If you want to be independent, stay single.

    Again, great post Desteny! I actually saw this post reviewed on another site (IJR). That’s how I got here. 🙂

    Reply
    • October 23 at 6:43 pm
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      I love this, Dave! You are 100% correct!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my article and leave this comment!

      Reply
    • January 7 at 6:45 pm
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      My husband wants a “strong independent (and might I add) intelligent woman” and his ability to respect and desire such qualities in his spouse is evidence of his own strength and confidence. A man who does not understand that lacks.

      Reply
  • October 22 at 6:03 pm
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    Amen, Desteny!! I honestly could not have said it better myself.

    Reply
  • October 23 at 4:52 pm
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    Is this meant to be sarcasm? What the heck is this? Whilst i do believe girls and boys are different, not allowing boys to be shown love and to display their emotions is of detriment to their well being. I really hope nobody takes your advice seriously. And I am glad your baby was a girl.

    Reply
    • October 23 at 6:40 pm
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      Ellen,

      You’re missing the point. Boys naturally don’t tend to be emotional like girls, unless their single mothers with custody keep pushing them to.

      Too many women pay lip service to the idea of boys and girls being different. But then they do it backwards. They raise their boys to be soft and “in tune with their feelings” and teach them that the right thing to do, is to suppress their masculinity and that they need a woman in their life.

      Meanwhile, they teach their daughters to be “strong and independent” and that “they don’t need no man in their life to be complete”.

      As I said, boys don’t tend to be emotional, so don’t push that. Girls do, so don’t push them so hard to be “strong”.

      As a man, I don’t pretend to be qualified to raise a girl to be a feminine woman.

      As a woman, don’t pretend to be qualified to raise a boy to be a masculine man.

      In case you’re guilty.

      Dave

      Reply
      • October 28 at 1:42 am
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        It would be nice if someone actually gave a reason why it is bad for a boy to wear a tutu. Who exactly does it hurt? Why not just let everyone do what they want as long as they are not hurting anyone else. The world would be a much nicer place to live in.

        I guess its just about conforming for you, if it was the norm that boys wore skirts and girls wore pants then I guess you would be arguing it that way around instead.

        One more thing, remember that it was the people who read books, who think about the world, who examine their beliefs who try and find the underlying logic and strip away the superficial (i.e sissies as you would say) who created all the technology and great things you have in your world. People with such rigid world views who have no ability to see past their own indoctrination do not create anything useful – they are only good for grunt work.

        So by all means continue to restrict yourself but try not to mess up your kid or interfere with other people.

        Reply
        • March 18 at 10:53 pm
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          I’m not trying to be rude, but other than a curios toddler (who will also try to wear a Tonka Truck on his head and a spatula as a belt), if you don’t already know why it’s bad for a boy to wear a tutu, I don’t think a page full of text is going to help you. Seriously.

          Reply
          • November 4 at 10:34 am
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            No I really want to know why a boy wearing a peice of FABRIC is going to harm him..because that’s what a tutu is, fabric

          • November 4 at 3:22 pm
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            Hi,

            > “How can a piece of fabric (a tutu)
            > harm him? “It’s just a piece of fabric.”

            If that were true, then we’d all just be wearing the same, simple piece of fabric. But as we both know, different pieces of fabric have different meanings.

            Tell you what… Wear a police uniform while you’re out. And when you get arrested and end up in court, see if the, “But it’s just a piece of fabric!” argument works on the judge. And when you get out of jail, ask yourself; “Was I ‘harmed’ because of a piece of fabric?”

            Or will you claim that it should be okay to impersonate a police officer, which is what wearing that “piece of fabric” means?

            Different fabrics have different meanings (even gender meanings), tutus included and you can try to mount all of the mental gymnastics you want. In the end, the fabric will have the same meaning and the boy will bear the same wounds from the harm done.

            A parent is supposed to look out for their child. Not harm them, nor encourage self-harm.

            Dave

          • November 5 at 6:23 am
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            Dave,
            Just a suggestion… don’t attempt rhetoric you’re not good at it.

          • November 5 at 1:43 pm
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            Rachel,

            Let’s see…

            1) Ignore/Avoid the point.

            2) Attack/Insult the person on a personal level.

            3) Think it made you witty and funny.

            Lemme guess… Liberal?

            Bye

          • November 5 at 2:28 pm
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            Ok Ok Ok…why don’t we play a game called this: STAY ON THE SUBJECT!!
            Personally attacking each other is of no use. It makes the opinions of those who have commented on the posted subject invalid. Let’s play nice and respect each other’s opinions. There is PLENTY of evil in this world, let’s do our best each day to make the world a nicer place for our children. Deal?? Deal!!

          • November 5 at 3:18 pm
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            Amy,

            No opinion was given. Just an attack on me by Rachel in response to a lengthy post I wrote stating my opinion, even using humor, as I just noted.

            I.e., my most recent response was simply noting how Liberals respond when they can’t dispute what someone has said.

            So you’re telling the wrong person.

            But your thought is of course, correct. 🙂

          • November 5 at 2:56 pm
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            Just simple educated (which I’m guessing is foreign to you) advice. And no, I’m not a liberal. Just a thinker. Something you ,likely, do not understand. Just a reminder. You’re defending a blogger that does not agree with your basic philosophy.

    • January 7 at 6:47 pm
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      This is exactly what I was thinking when I read it. If it is sarcasm it is funny- maybe. But I am concerned that even as a joke it furthers this sort of thinking that actually exists, believe it or not.

      Reply
  • October 27 at 4:15 am
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    If people would just understand the negative ripple affect of not raising boys to be boys and girls to be girls that is happening in our world. Tell me when did it become ok to send your son to school dressed as a girl, transgender restrooms, husbands and wife’s sharing each other with other couples, that’s bull#&*$.

    If more people thought the way you do Desteny we wouldn’t have these problems. Keep it up.

    Reply
    • October 28 at 1:45 am
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      What negative ripple effect, the only negative seems to be the bigots who feel they need to interfere with someone who is not even affecting you.

      Reply
      • November 5 at 2:14 pm
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        Hi,

        That’s been the battlecry of every form of perversion. That it doesn’t affect anyone else. And it’s a lie.

        How does homos parading down Main St with their penisis out pretending to sodomize each other in front of children “not affect anyone else”?

        How does teachers having little boys go out of the classroomto change into a dress and come back in, for the teacher to introduce them as a girl and then tell the whole class that they must address him as a girl “not affect anyone else”?

        How does a transgender reading to kids in a library dressed up as a Satan associated character while reading a transgender themed book to them “not affect anyone else”?

        How does laws requiring people to honor these perversions above their supposedly First Amendment protected religion “not affect anyone else”?

        Your claim is a load of crap and you already know that!

        And the only “bigots” are those like you, who aren’t satisfied with just being left alone which no one has objected to, but instead, you demand that everyone else constantly agree with you and that they be forced under threat of financially personal and business crushing fines and/or prison time for daring to object to having to approve of what they see as perversion. That, sir, is the definition of a bigot!

        “Why do churches preach against homosexuality so much and not other sins?!”

        Trust me, when there are “Adultery Pride Parades”, then the preaching about that will go up too!

        You say to Christians that America is all about living the way you want, so leave us alone, yet won’t do that for the Christians! While you tell them, “I don’t need Jesus! Don’t preach at me!”, you won’t do the same for them and attack them for not living your way!

        And why the big deal about transgenderism?

        Well, it never was a big deal, until you came after the children and tried to turn them into you, so you could virtue signal.

        Big mistake!

        Bye

        Reply
  • October 29 at 4:30 am
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    Jo, Let me explain what i mean by negative ripple affect.
    Step 1. Not treating/raising boys to be boys.
    Step 2. Boy allowed by Parent/Adult to act and attend school dressed as a girl. Gets bullied boy doesn’t know why Parent/Adult outraged demand something be done!
    Step 3. Transgender restrooms, government gets involved. Boy still getting bullied doesn’t know why cause Parent/Adult said it was o.k. for him to act and dress like a girl.
    Step 4. Boy still getting bullied starts feeling sad, mad, turnes against Parents/Adult , society and is now thinking suicide, revenge, killing spree.
    Step 5. Boy as young adult has Partner/Husband/Wife sharing each other with others for sexual exploration and enjoyment.
    Finally confused Man/Woman running our government.

    So does it affect You and I and everyone else on this world?

    Reply
  • October 30 at 9:34 am
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    Honestly, it’s probably a good thing you’ve had so many miscarriages. I would feel awful for your son if you ever had one, your raising kids to be part of the problem in the world. Sexist and being a woman hater. I raise a son on my own and teach him it’s okay to express himself in any healthy way possible and I kiss him, hug him, and cuddle with him when he’s hurt. And he’s in no way turning into a girl.
    Go get your tubes tied.

    Reply
  • November 2 at 5:33 am
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    Desteny, I agree 100% that boy should need to be boys and girls need to be girls. I am SO fed up and disgusted with the way things have become these days – boys growing long hair and dressing like girls, girls who try to be boys, restrooms that allow grown men to enter where young girls and ladies are taking care of private business, MY tax dollars going to fund sex change operations…it is disgusting and unacceptable. Men are men and women are women, no matter what. Sorry, BRUCE, but no amount of surgery will EVER qualify you as a woman! You will never bear children. You will never feel the same emotions we feel. You will never deal with menstrual issues or pregnancy complications…you are NOT a woman…you are a wannabe, and a very confused male. How could any woman demean her own value by calling Bruce Jenner a woman? This is the world we live in today, and it is sad. I am a compassionate person, and I don’t seek to hurt anyone, but someone needs to stand up for what is right.

    So getting back to my original thoughts: yes, boys should be raised to be men and girls should be raised to be women. Why is that even a question? I don’t know how this country ever veered from that reality.

    That being said, I am a mom of 2 boys, and I treat them like boys. BUT, I think you are being a bit harsh. Think about what you said – even your own husband is insensitive to you. Is that really what you want for your daughter? Or do you want her to marry someone who is strong and manly AND can be sensitive to her femininity? Men don’t have to be brutes and chauvinists to be men – the best men are those who are strong yet tender. The ones who have strong morals and stand up for what they believe, provide for and protect their families, and love them passionately. And they DO cry, but only when necessary. You see, you’re not tough when you learn to bottle things up and pretend to have no emotions. You’re tough when you can acknowledge those emotions and be strong enough to work through them. Who is tougher: one who takes drugs to mask their pain and never shows it, or one who works through their pain with strength and endurance? It’s okay for men to cry over something devastating. No, I don’t want to see men crying over a love story though! There’s a very fine line here.

    My boys get hurt and sad and mad. As a mother, it is my job to comfort them, acknowledge their feelings, and teach them how to deal with them. When my boys fall down or get hurt, I don’t yell at them to suck it up; I acknowledge the fact that it must have hurt, give them a hug, and move on. That being said, I don’t expect them to cry over bumps and bruises when they are school aged! I hug them like crazy. There will come a day when I can’t. Hugs and kisses don’t turn little boys into confused “transgenders.” It gives them security and makes them feel loved. This is the foundation for learning how to love their families one day. I want to raise my boys to have hearts that are sensitive when necessary, and discerning and strong at all times. Men can be tender hearted and still be very manly and strong and protective. It’s a delicate balance, but those are the best kind of men. I am striving to raise my boys to become men like that.

    I’m glad you ended up with a girl. And it sounds like your ideas on raising her with a balance of femininity and self-reliance are spot on!

    I’m so sorry for your losses. You are a tough cookie. I had 3 miscarriages before my first son was born, and one was at 3 months. When you talked about your Pinterest boards, it really hit home for me, because as soon as we see that pink line we begin planning a life and building hopes and dreams for this tiny life…and it’s so hard to let that go. I had so many plans and ideas laid out for my little Samantha Jo, but she never came to be, so I had to lay the idea to rest along with those 3 unborn babies. Now I have 2 squirmy boys instead, and I love them to pieces! I guess this is what was meant to be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your struggles.

    Reply
    • November 15 at 1:40 pm
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      Tiff, I love that you brought up Bruce Jenner. I absolutely hate it when people refer to him as a woman!

      I consider my husband’s insensitivity refreshing. I feel it brings a great balance to our relationship and it’s also a very nice change of pace from this overly sensitive world we live in. He can be a great reminder that not all feelings and emotions are logical or rational. That’s exactly what he did when I became upset about deleting Max’s Pinterest board. He was simply reminding me that I should be celebrating this healthy daughter we were going to have and not trying to find a way to turn Bee’s birth into yet another loss. And he didn’t sugar coat it. I’m glad we have a relationship where he can say what is on his mind without worrying about offending me. We have to worry about hurting other people’s feelings way too much outside of our home, I’m glad it’s much less a concern between the two of us.

      If my feelings are valid and logical, he’s there for me. He never made fun of me for being upset about our miscarriages. Those experiences were things worth being upset about. Deleting a Pinterest board you created just in case your healthy, viable child were a boy is not. And the relationship we have is very much the kind of relationship I hope my daughter can have one day with her husband.

      I’m sorry for your losses. My first miscarriage was days shy of 12 weeks. I’d only ever known of one person to experience a miscarriage prior to my own, so it was something that was completely unexpected and honestly hit me harder than the other 4. I’m definitely glad you were able to have your 2 sons.

      We may not see entirely eye-to-eye, but that’s okay! Thanks for stopping by and leaving this comment.

      Reply
      • March 18 at 10:40 pm
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        Desteny,

        Bruce Jenner?

        Of course as men, we see it as proving that men are so superior to women, that a man even won Woman of the Year!

        Okay, I guess it’s either that, or it’s proof for your original post.

        Darn! I really thought I had it nailed there for a minute! 🙂

        Reply
    • March 18 at 10:45 pm
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      Tiff,

      Stop it! You’re microaggressing me!

      I need a good cry with my fellow snowflakes!

      Now where’s my puppies and coloring books?

      Darn it! They’re out of orange again! What kind of safe space is this?!

      Reply
  • November 30 at 6:07 am
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    It is admirable to prepare our daughters for the “what-ifs” of life, but I believe that we should do the same for our sons.

    What if his wife is stuck in NICU for two months with their fourth child?
    What if his wife falls ill and needs him to help her with dishes and food?
    What if he is a bachelor? He will still need to eat and wear clothes. You do not want to visit your 30 year old bachelor son and cringe at his toilet or find roaches in his kitchen!

    The cooking industry is dominated by men. They are also pretty good at eating! Different skills have come and gone as being manly over the centuries, like weaving and tailors. Even clothing has changed with time.

    I think that being a man is more about how he holds himself, how relates to women and children, how he stands up for those that are smaller/weaker than himself, and how he relates to His God.

    I agree that our culture is shamelessly blurring the line between the genders, and that we need to embrace the way God made us and live it to the full. But I also believe that being a real man has very little to do with shunning “women’s work.”

    Jesus fed people, and He cooked breakfast over a fire. He wore what all the men of His era wore (and it wasn’t pants). He was power under control. He protected women and children, though they were culturally worthless. And Jesus was and is as manly as they come.

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  • January 3 at 4:44 pm
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    As a mother of boys and a veteran middle school teacher, I find your opinion about how to raise boys very dangerous and disturbing.

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  • January 3 at 8:44 pm
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    As I read this article I thought of my own beautiful 4 year old son. He is strong and taller then all the other boys in his class. He could probably do more pull ups then the ad erase grown man. He is an exceptional soccer player and the fastest runner I’ve ever seen for a young child. He also carries a pink babydoll his cousin gave him at birth. He carries ‘Baby’ in one hand and usually a hot wheel car in the other. He is a gentle soul that saves insects from being stepped on and gives you tissues when you seem said without being told. I have taught my strong young man that he is brave, loved, polite, and tough. Reading this article made me sad for any child being struck down for being who they are. If one day my son wants to make his dolls go grocery shopping and the next take his cars in the mud, good for him. Boy should not be raised to ‘act like boys’ nor should they be raised to ‘act like a girl’ a child should be raised to be a decent human being. My son will be the one to comfort yours after he could be bullied or lost the football game. He will be the one to stick up for the shy and show pride in himself. Every mother has their own way but once a child realizes who they are..we change as they do. Do tell a child they can’t do something because of their gender because it is only telling them the other is weaker.

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  • January 7 at 3:37 pm
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    I thought the part of your post re: deleting the planning you had done ” if the baby was a boy” was compelling. The thought and love that you and your husband put into planning for either gender is precious.
    The part about raising your boy to be a girl: I understand some of your thoughts. Maybe I didn’t connect with your complete message. I think we have to always consider nurture VS nature but I think that in our families today, we allow each person to express their strengths and passions.
    Through my blessed life, I was raised with boys in my school and neighborhood who were quiet, sensitive and perhaps delicate. I saw girls who played and got red faced and dirty just like ” typical” boys and scraped there knee to have blood run down their leg and not go home for so much as a band aid. I have seen men who are great husbands and fathers who have never hunted or carry a football but will “take on” ( I am not talking fighting here but through mind and words) anybody who threatens a loved one. Not all men and woman are able to fight in a war. Those that do may have issues with this trauma. Others will handle the trauma. Some Woman are out there bucking their way through the corporate/professional world without thinking much past the times they had to reprimand or fire an employee. That can smoke a cigar yet be beautiful and feminine enough to have others not only be amazed by her business sense but also her beauty She never once cries to her superiors and handles her issues ” like a man”. Sons cook and grocery shop and care for their children. Daughters shovel snow and mow the grass.
    When my son was little he was raised to believe that all living things were special. The neighbor boys teased him because he was upset when they were burning bugs with matches in the driveway. He cried when he told me. But he grew up to handle many tough situations through college and college athletics and now is a police officer. Sometimes I worry if teaching him sensitivity makes his life harder? Especially in his career. But I knew I wanted each of my children, girls and boy, to be good, to help others, to be tough and stand up for their rights….pursuing their interests and passions. And if they cry when the evening news tells a story of suffering and a tear comes to their eye, then I have succeeded.

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  • January 7 at 5:09 pm
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    So I have to say I agree with most of your points. I want both of my boys to grow up to be real men. I don’t however mind when they have moments of sensitivity because they usually come during moments of empathy. That should be considered a desired quality. Their empathy will make them a better son, friend, future spouse, and just a better human being.
    I think because you don’t have a son you may not understand diversity. Both of our kids do sports: soccer, baseball, basketball and the little one is started mixed martial arts. We are ALL for the boys sports. At the same time our oldest is dramatic he is a boys boy but he takes acting and hip hop. I can also tell you some kids made fun of him for it maybe from their parents influence. However, how do you think the actors in movies got their start?????? We enrolled him for confidence. He does hip hop because he wants the “sweet moves”, not to be a professional dancer. No tutus here either 😉
    I would just urge you to not make blanket statements. My boys are well rounded all American good looking kids but they clean their rooms, load the dishwasher, one acts and takes hip hop and yet….they are still covered in mud with the girls chasing them.
    Granted we also didn’t do dolls in our house but they had a play kitchen. We caught crap for that but aren’t the mass majority of professional chefs men? So while your daughter will be able to hunt, clean, and cook the food I would want my son to “survive” as well.

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  • January 10 at 6:11 pm
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    Agree with 95% of what you said. My husband and I talk about this a lot. I hope our 12 year old daughter can find a “real man” some day because they are few and far between!

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  • January 16 at 10:01 am
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    It’s refreshing to read from someone who “gets it”. As a mom of two boys I totally agree with your post. We’re raising men to lead their families, not little girls.

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  • January 19 at 7:49 am
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    I really enjoyed reading your post. I know that this may be controversial but in a society where everything is considered “ok” I feel that sometimes there are issues that need to be talked about and this is one of them. I admire your strength to write this and get it out there. We all need to speak our truth. People like you give others courage to say their own! Thank you!

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  • January 25 at 11:47 pm
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    Where do you get your definition of what makes a real man? As much as I struggle with your concept of what makes a man, I am genuinely asking where you get your framework of manhood? My husband of 14 years more than provides for us financially, stands up for what he believes in and protects our family. However, he has no interest in sports or hunting, he has fantastic musical talent (which included musical theater performances during his high school and college days) and he openly expresses his emotions which at times has included genuine tears. I hope and pray our son is as trustworthy, kind and responsible as his father. I couldn’t ask for a better man to share life with.

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  • February 11 at 10:14 am
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    Congrats on your girl. I have two boys. I kiss their boo boos when they ask me to at 3 and 4yrs old but they don’t carry on when they get hurt either. I tell them they’re fine and that’s it.
    I don’t consider myself a feminist nor liberal but I certainly don’t consider cleaning and cooking women’s work!! Men should clean up after themselves and learn to cook. Some of the best chefs are men. My boys bake with me.

    I suppose you wanted to stir up controversy with some of these comments in this post to get people to comment and share it. I applaud you for even writing this in today’s world of everyone being so offended by any and everything.
    Good work, even if I don’t agree with some of it. I get your point.

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  • February 11 at 7:35 pm
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    I liked the general idea of this article however I do think it’s important that even if you tell your son he can’t do xyz, we need to be careful not to be simultaneously teaching them to be hateful/prejudice against other who decide differently. I have two boys, when I’m putting makeup and they ask about it, I say girls is mostly for girls and if he asks for some I tell him boys in our family don’t wear makeup or whatever. Just like how when i was nursing my newborn and he wanted to try to nurse him I said honey you’re a boy and boys don’t have milk like girls do. I am trying to draw that gender boundary but at the same time making sure he doesn’t become hateful and prejudice if other people decide to make different decisions. Since we are their parents we have some influence over these things, and believe me, I want my son to grow up a traditional man and have a wife and kids and all that, BUT, if he came to me at 20 and told me he was gay or whatever he felt, I would still love and accept him because he is my child no matter what and I can have preferences but we don’t control everything so I just do my best and leave the rest to God.

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    • February 12 at 9:57 pm
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      Jessica,

      But this is where people, even the watered down, pretty much useless to Christ “Christian” church get(s) lost.

      How does being a Christian (or any religion) equate to:

      “I believe that my religion is the right one and that what my Holy Book says is God speaking to man. But I also believe that your religion is just as right and valid, even though your Holy Book says many things that contradict mine.”

      It is not “hateful” to tell someone that their religion, nor that trying to be the gender they aren’t, is wrong. Rather, it is hateful not to, since it means you don’t care about them enough to tell them the truth. You’d rather try to be friends with someone who’s hurting their child (What did Jesus say about that?), than hurt their feelings.

      There is a word for that: “cowardice”.

      Truth: “not being hateful” does not mean “accepting”. How could it? It also does not mean thinking that this “other choice” is a valid one. It isn’t.

      How can anyone who claims to “know right from wrong”, think that one gender thinking it’s the other and mutilating their body to match their body, be “right”?

      Transgenderism is a recognized mental illness. In fact, it’s in the DSM. It’s called “Gender Dysphoria”. And “dysphoria simply means “delusion”. They are under a delusion about what their gender is.

      With what other mental illness are people encouraged to dive into it as deep as they can and mutilate their bodies to match their psychosis? In what other mental illness do you allow people to pressure you into politely saying that people shouldn’t speak out about what’s happening and agree to be silent while schools indoctrinate your children (I strongly suggest that you stop being ignorant about what schools are now teaching young children, incl 9 yo’s being taught that it’s okay to be married and then masturbate to homosexual fantasies!).

      So why do you tolerate that pressure about this? And why don’t you demand to know why tolerance is a one ways street? And why they violate the Constitution’s 1st Amendment by demanding laws to force you to shut up and to let your children be indoctrinated? College is worst of all! What do you think will happen there, where people who disagree are violently attacked in the name of “tolerance”?

      There is a mental illness (name?) where people think they need to have surgery to amputate their limbs, to look right and feel okay. And that if they can’t do it here, they’ll go where they can do it. And they think their insurance should cover it and that those who disagree just “don’t understand” and they’re “haters”.

      Do you feel the same “not to hate by actually saying it’s wrong” about that one? If not, why not? I mean, where’s the difference? Because those people are changing their bodies via surgery and actually cutting up body parts?

      Tell me, what did *you* think happens to a man’s penis when he has a sex change operation? And what happens to a woman’s breasts when her dysphoria tells her she’s really a man?

      And now they want to do it to THEIR CHILDREN!!! Liberals caught up in the idea of “love” and “tolerance” and “inclusion” as the SJW code words they’ve become (“hate anyone not like us” and “be intolerant of those who disagree” and “no whites allowed”), are simply caught up in the “My child is a bigger victim that your child!” mentality of virtue signaling.

      Well, it’s one thing if they want to make themselves look like the stupid sheep that they are, but now they want to virtue signal by PHYSICALLY MUTILATING THEIR TODDLERS!

      Literally because a 3 yo smiles when Mommy handed him a doll and Mommy starts dressing him up as a girl and can’t wait to get his genitals mutilated! Don’r worry Mommy! I’m sure that when he cries in the store when you keep pushing him past the Tonka Trucks, he’s actually just lamenting how sexist they are and relieved that you’re headjng for the Barbies! Oh and make sure to punch his white, gender and mysoginist privilege in the face by buying him black, fat construction worker Barbie!

      Seriously, these people are hurting children so they can be good SJW’s who virtue signal that they’re recognizing their privilege! How can anyone think that the right attitude to take, is “live and let live”? With what other harm to childrem that you were seeing being done, would you instruct your child that they should be “accepting”, instead of fighting for what’s right by trying to help them?

      In any other case where this attitude exists, the state would remove the child. But if you want to rip a 3 yo’s genitals apart and use chemicals to make your child’s body work in the opposite manner and none of this understood by them, they hey, no problem! In fact, maybe we can even force people who think it’s wrong to pay for it! ‘Cause you know, tolerance and stuff, right?

      Reply
  • February 18 at 7:30 am
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    While I kind of see where you’re coming from i also don’t 100% agree. That being said I think it’s important for people to step outside their bubble and read something they may not necessarily agree with. And again while i dont agree I can acknowledge that you presented your argument respectfully.
    It caught me off guard when this popped up in my Pinterest feed when I’m accustomed to seeing mostly recipes and craft projects but I try not to shy away from something just because I don’t necessarily agree with it.

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  • March 15 at 7:03 pm
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    This article is very sad to me. I really hope you don’t ever have a boy who doesn’t 100% meet your middle class American definition of what constitutes a “man.” If you do, I’m afraid he will have a very hard life. Jesus was both strong and sensitive – let’s encourage our sons to be like him, rather than like some sort of manly cowboy.

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    • March 16 at 2:37 pm
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      Your problem is that you wish to delete the “strong”. Otherwise you wouldn’t have objected. And let’s not pretend that more than 2% of single mothers are raising their boys to be men. Rather, they’re raising them to be subservient to women. Something Jesus did not teach, since you mentioned Him.

      Try adding the half of Jesus that you delete. The one who blasted those who were supposed to know better, walked up to the priesthood and blasted them so loudly everyone could hear it, took a whip to established money system and did not tolerate the idea of dissolving the family.

      Btw, how many single mothers deny fathers access because of their own butthurt, lie to the child about it and then claim they did it for the child?

      Jesus was not some “peace out” hippie. He offered compassion only to those who came to Him recognizing their own wretchedness and got on their knees begging for forgiveness. And He would not be happy at all with the today’s supposed “enlightened” view and especially not with the misandry labeled as “feminism”, which seeks to try to turn men into women and women into men!

      Think about it. They teach men must soften up, get rid of their “toxic masculinity”. But women? Their message is to “be strong”, don’t take any crap, be the boss, you cn be a soldier, a boxer, etc., et al.

      Men boxing? Well, that’s just proof of their toxic masculinity, right?

      Reply
      • March 18 at 8:01 pm
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        Dave, I don’t know who you are, but I absolutely love ALL of your comments!

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        • March 18 at 10:34 pm
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          Thank you, sweetie! 🙂

          And don’t worry, half the time I don’t know who I am either.

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      • March 19 at 4:31 pm
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        Dave,
        I can only assume you have little knowledge of the Bible and especially Jesus. Furthermore, you offer absolutely no support for any of your statements. Prove what you say about women- offer a citation. Prove what you say about Jesus (you cannot) offer textual support.
        Your comment about single mothers is shameful and embarrassing for anyone who claims Jesus’s name, “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction…” (James 1:27). Women left to raise children in a broken home deserve honor and respect, not presumptuous belittling.
        Jesus spent his time on Earth evangelizing. He approached the woman at the well, not the other way around. As far as what he would expect a parent to teach a young boy, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). Meekness is the last trait which would be encouraged if a child were raised in the way this blogpost suggest. Meekness should be nurtured, not stomped out.
        You claim Jesus would not be happy with strong, feminist women? Well, Jesus was a Jew- He followed the law and knew the Torah- and would have known about the strong female Judges which God placed in authority over Israel. Deborah, for instance, “She dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her judgement” (Judges 4:5). Deborah can be considered a Biblical feminist; she led Israel and commanded male, Israelite soldiers.

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        • March 20 at 10:06 pm
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          I can see that you are a Liberal by your tactic. If you can’t dispute the facts, then attack the person.

          But let’s take your points one by one:

          * Biblical Knowledge: WOW! Did you pick the WRONG guy to try to criticize on THAT subject and try to BLUFF about your level of knowledge!!! 🙂

          I don’t like to seem vain, listing out my qualifications like this. In fact, I’ve never even mentioned them here. Not important. We’re all just people here and we all have something to add. And I’m just a guest here, whom Desteny has been kind enough to continue to allow to flap his lips. You know, being a man and so, just dragging my knuckles through life and all. 🙂

          But you brought up the subject while attacking me, so now you’ve forced me to list at least some of my qualifications:

          I have been a pastor for about 25 years now.

          But now, that would be “Doctor” to you, since I hold a doctorate in both “Theology” and “Biblical Studies”.

          Wait, does that make it “Doctors” (plural) to you then? 🙂

          I have read the Bible cover to cover 15 times and the complete New Testament literally hundreds of times. Of course that does not include the decades worth of studying various sections of the Bible since I was a child, nor the 3 solid years I spent in hiatus doing nothing from waking until sleeping, but studying the Scriptures, their history, the ancient languages, the various peoples involved (emphasis on Jewish and Roman), the geography, finances (including trade), foods and heck, even the plant and animal life! Btw, I can tell you the best ancient trick for getting the wool off sheep quickly, if you’re interested. 🙂

          I have also been involved in various debates regarding Apologetics (various subjects), online and in person, including in front of a camera against names you would either know, or could Google. I have never lost a debate. Not once. And that’s according even to judges, when they were present. And it’s not because I’m always the smartest guy in the room, but rather, it’s because the truth will always be the perfect and unbeatable defense!

          I’m also on the Speed Dial of a number of pastors from various states and even overseas, for when they need to have help of any kind, whether for knowledge, or as when I helped set up programs for the homeless and other types of programs (how to).

          I’ve also been involved behind the scenes in the writing of more than one book on various Biblical subjects, including how the modern church has perverted the message and how people like you happily grab onto those Shirley McClaine style perversions. I’m sure you’d know a title or two.

          Zeroing in on the Jewish people and the times of Jesus, I am *intimately* familiar with the time span (especially the New Testament time span) of the Bible, the various peoples, their customs, manner of speech, etc., etc..

          What I find interesting, is that you think it’s your mission to pit the Bible against itself in an effort to promote your FemiNazi agenda, which has no problem discarding fathers and men in general. You try to discard the clear teaching of the Bible on marriage/family and the church and try to replace it with Feminism. I’m sorry, but Jesus was in no way a Feminist, nor did He, nor any other writer, place women as equal to men in authority in the church, or in the home. That’s just the way it is. If you don’t like it, there are plenty of other gods you can worship. Your choice.

          None of this is to say that women are not of vital importance! They most certainly are! We wouldn’t be here without them! And yes, for women not hindered by medical reasons, that is her primary role. To bring our young into the world. After all, the world stops without that and God gave women those body parts for a reason.

          And let me say; How dare you and your FemiNazi cohorts put down a woman for being a wife, a mother and a homemaker! Bringing forth a new life into the world is a miracle! But FemiNazis seek to belittle it, as if it’s some menial thing that women get “stuck” doing! Imagine that! Women telling women that they’re “less than”, because they brought forth life and they know that no one else should be raising their children and helping to form their world view, but them! You cannot influence your child when you’re not there! And no, you are *not* a good mother, when you’re out chasing your own desires and a Lexus instead of a VW and red bottom shoes, instead of being there to nuture them and fill their need for one of mom’s hugs!

          Let me tell you something… whether men admit it or not, what they honor and respect most, is a woman who cherishes being a wife who supports her husband, a mother who nutures and cares for her children and a homemaker who keeps things clean and organized, all of which are tremendously difficult jobs! It’s not “all their good for”, any more than all husbands are good for is their wallet and taking out the trash! It’s what women should aspire to be, just as men should aspire to care for their families and involve themselves in it and help out as well. These are not the lower rung of life, but the top rung! What it’s all for and about!

          The bottom line is, men want feminine women. Not those who crank on about our “toxic masculinity” and then hypocritically say that their best date ever would be to arm wrestle and then go see the new “100lb Girl Somehow Magically Kicks Ass Against A Resurrected Bruce Lee and 10 Clones of Him” movie.

          Like I said, you’re a hypocrite. And what you aim for is not “equality”, but to turn men into women and women into men. But it’s a fantasy and what’s really going on here, is penis envy, plain and simple. But what is it that you don’t like about women, or truer yet, yourself, that makes you hate yourself and by extension other women and extending it even further out, God, since He created you as female, so much, that you act like this? That is the question you should be asking: of yourself, my dear.

          But anyway, on with your claims:

          * Cite it!: I cannot write a whole teaching on it here for you, but if you’d like to discuss a specific thing said, then we can do that. But don’t tell me that I did not cite anything, because I did mention various statements and events and if you are so Biblically knowledgeable, then you should have known exactly where they were found. But instead, you claimed that I was wrong. That they don’t exist.

          * Deborah: A “strong Feminist!”

          Strange how she spoke opposite to that thinking then.

          You mentioned, “God gave them strong female judges”, plural.

          He did? Really? Please name them.

          Then please show where God said that He chose them and installed them.

          Then when you can’t do any of the above, learn that even if you could have named them, something being mentioned in the Bible (not that those things were), is not the same thing as God approving of it.

          David committed adultery as a king. Using your rule, I guess adultery is okay for kings then, right?

          Yes, Deborah was a judge. But that was to the shame of Israel, not because she was a “strong Feminist”. But again, even if she was one, that’s not the same as God saying that He approves of it.

          And since you *claim* to be the expert capable of instructing me, why did you not mention (pulling this stuff from memory, so if I get verse #’s wrong here, or I paraphrase a bit, don’t crucify me over it) that in v1, it says that, “the children of Israel did wicked in the sight if the Lord in those days”.

          So I challenge your assertion. They ended up with no king and a woman ruling over them as a judge due to their wickedness, not because “Feminism rocks and God loves a strong Feminist!”.

          You know nothing about Scripture. You’re trying to pit God against Himself, while trying to use a search (probably Google) to pretend that you do know the Scriptures.

          It’s clear that they were not living by the rules. And every time they didn’t, the Scriptures show that God would then make them “a shame” in the eyes of the other nations, to wake them up.

          But to you, their wicked living was an awesome thing, because to you, it proves that Feminism is Godly!

          So let’s get this straight, remembering that YOU cited this section of Scripture and you don’t get to ignore the context only 4 verses prior and pretend it was the opposite.

          According to YOUR claim, God approves of Feminism, which is always (and I mean always) shown in Scripture to occur because Israel was disobeying God.

          So we have learned 3 things here:

          1) Feminism is the direct result of a people disobedient to God.
          2) You claim God approves of STRONG Feminism.
          3) 1+2 = You believe that God approves of people disobeying Him.

          Hmmm… No thanks! I’ll pass!

          The fact is, that a woman judging Israel was to their SHAME! Deborah herself even made that clear, indirectly, when there was some land to get and the man wanted to woos (sp?) out and so he asked her to go with him, saying;

          “Judge Deborah… I am a big ‘ol gurrrly man! And I need to must hide behind your skuuurt, okay Deeebboraaah?”

          But she told him! She was like; “Dude! Listen up, man! Like, I could go with you, but like, then everyone will know what a big huge mangina you are, because they’ll be selling it to me, a woman! A WOMAN!!! Do you get that?!”

          You see, even Deborah knew that was shameful (somewhere around v19 or 20) and told him so! Apparently, you don’t even believe Deborah about Deborah, because it gets in the way!

          Oh wait, that’s right! You didn’t actually read anything beyond the one verse. You just Googled.

          It wasn’t even legal to have women owning property, unless there were no males left in the family. How does that jibe with your FemiNazi rant that it was okay for her to be running an entire nation? Oh wait, it doesn’t.

          Can you imagine the cucked look on that guys face, when he still said he wanted her to do it? And the faces of those they went out to meet?! “Holy Woos Boys, BatMan!”

          This is not a nod of approval for Feminism! It’s an indictment of the woosey boy men!

          You claimed that Jesus likes “strong Feminists”. Hmmm, I wonder if He and His 12 MALE DISCIPLES talked about that around the campfire? 🙂

          You want two strong mates butting heads in marriage, which we both know to you means that the woman is not going to back down, but the man is also supposed to be “sensitive” (I notice you didn’t say that the woman should be that) and as you feminists say, “want what she wants” (of course, the reverse is called mysoginy) and so he should give in, because he loves her.

          I.e., she nags until he gives in. She’s bitchy, period. And if he doesn’t give in, then he’s “controlling”. So, the opposite of what the Bible says. Gotcha!

          The fact is, that nothing survives two leaders. Two equals in authority. Eventually, they disagree, dig their heels in and it crumbles. It just doesn’t work, period.

          To reiterate, what feminists mean when they say equality in marriage, is that when the two can’t agree, then he’s supposed to give in, because he’s the man (Uh oh, traditional gender roles?!) and he’s supposed to make the woman happy and so she gets her way, which means she’s the boss (“Ask her, she’s the boss!”), but gets to manipulate the situation to avoid looking controlling, because he’s automatically pressured into this, which isn’t actually traditional gender roles, but the work of Feminism!

          It is not the husband’s job to make the wife happy. It is his job to choose the path that’s right for his family and stick to it, whether the wife (or he himself) is happy about it or not, because it’s the right thing to do. And any wife that’s not happy about that, should be on her knees asking God to help her adjust her attitude and get rid of the sinful spirit that is causing her to put her own *wants* above her family’s *needs* and is causing her to cause strife in her marriage!

          You demand that you’re going to be a “strong, independent woman” and to hell with a husband if he doesn’t like it!

          Look at the destructiveness of that!

          Let’s let the dictionary help you:

          The definition of the word “independent” is the exact opposite of the definition of the word “marriage”.

          The two are simply not compatible.

          But getting back to Deborah, don’t get me wrong. I do like Deborah! I think she rocks! She saw a nation of little gurly men and she stepped up, while continually reminding the men, humbly even (Note: NOT a bitch to them!) that they should sack up and get it together! Talk about God shaming you! It’s one thing for one of your boys (friends) to tell ya to sack up, but it just doesn’t get any more shameful for a man, when even the “loving, caring, softer, sensitive, feminine” sex is looking you in the eye and telling you to sack up!

          And this, while even her husband sat at home! Probably knitting a hat that said; “Clinton for Judge!”, or something like that.

          Anyway, you go, Deborah! You’re my girl! 🙂

          I even laugh every time I read the victory song she later sings to the Lord, because the goals for Israel’s business were accomplished. I won’t quote the whole thing here, but it can be summed up as follows:

          “Oh Lord, how great Thou art!
          Yes Lord, they were manginas!
          But I stepped up, Lord!
          And now here we are,
          in Mangina Central,
          but we have some more land!”

          Something to that effect. 🙂

          * James: Interesting that you use this passage. But again, the Bible does not contradict itself, as you try to make it do.

          Your problem in using this verse, is that as is typical for Liberals, you try to conflate ideas. Here you do it in the sense of; “If the Bible mentions ‘X’, that proves that God approves of ‘Y’!”.

          I’m sorry, but that doesn’t work here, nor anywhere else in the Bible.

          But let’s roll with your line of thinking that James was saying that God approves of “strong Feminists” who choose to be single mothers by having sex before marriage (fornication), or divorce their husbands (women file for divorce 3X as often as men), because he said to “visit the fatherless”.

          Now why do you think he would tell men to do that, if “men-less” homes were just fine for kids?

          Anyway, using your logic that James was okay with divorce because he said to visit the fatherless and following it through to the second half of his statement, it would also mean that he was okay with wives murdering their husbands, because he said to visit the widows. That’s the end result of your logic.

          And in your twisted attempt to turn God into a Feminist, you left out the obvious. That since it’s one sentence, it’s the same households. I.e., the children are “fatherless”, because the wives are now “widows”. So both are being visited. Hello?

          It wasn’t like it is here, now. Children did not run off. They stayed. They helped.

          And don’t bother trying to claim that’s what you meant. You wouldn’t have bothered bringing it up if that were the case (and wouldn’t have used the label “broken homes”), since no one would criticize a widow for continuing to raise their children.

          And look at your wording. You say God’s cool with it, but you call them “broken homes”. Do you not grasp the simple concept that when something is broken, that means that there’s *now* something *wrong* with it? And who broke it? Was it the child who broke it? Or was it you?

          The truth is, that the home of a divorce is a broken home and that means that it needs fixing. And that by your own wording!

          Jesus did speak about marriage and divorce. He said don’t get divorced! Want me to tell you where? Or can you, the great Biblical expert, handle it this time? 🙂

          I suggest that you also look at what Paul said about authority in marriage (I’ll give you this one) in Ephesians 5:22-25 and pay attention to the words, “as unto the Lord” and “in everything”.

          Oh and don’t bother trying to use v25 to cancel out vs22-24, as if saying “love your wives” means “ignore what I just finished saying”. That’s more of that “happy wife, happy life” crap, that too many men have stupidly bought into! No one is going to be happy all the time, but look how you just love to make men stressed!

          Peter echoed the same thinking and you will also find the flat out statement that “the husband is the head over the wife JUST AS (in the exact same way that) Christ is head over the church”.

          There is no ambiguity there! And no room for “equal authority” there and there is damn sure not a hint; not even a whiff, of Feminism there!

          Feminism has no place anywhere, let alone the church, or our marriages! And single motherhood (other than widows) is an evil result of the sins of one or both partners! It is NOT something to be proud of at all!

          It damages children for life!

          Little boys grow up unable to form *healthy* attachments to women, being unable to provide the needed strong male figure who provides for and guides the family, which breeds resentment, especially from his wife, because no matter what Feminists claim about how “equality minded” they are, women can choose to work, or be taken care of, men cannot. Women, Feminists included, will resent him (proving again that Feminism is just hypocrisy spelled differently)!

          This boy will grow up to be a jellyfish mangina, getting pushed around and walked on by women, because all he was told by Mommy, is how “women want a nice guy” and to never disagree with a women because they’re smarter than men (“Smart men listen to their wives!”) and how all men are liars, et., etc..

          And so he grows up getting crapped all over by every woman and ends up getting divorce raped, while she banging her next alpha on the c*ck carousel before the papers are even finalized!

          Little girls grow up looking for any male attention they can get, to try to fill in that gap. They end up as sluts, period. What else needs to be said there?

          This is not me. Study after study after study after study has proved this!

          THANKS, MOM!!!

          Of course both of them are usually lied to by mom (because she doesn’t have the emotional maturity to deal with the situation like an adult for the sake of her children), about how their father doesn’t want anything to do with them, or died, or whatever, which is mommy’s way of keeping their dad away from herself, because in typical “Hell hath no fury…” style, she’s gonna make the guy pay for hurting her! How? Well, apparently by hurting her children. And she’ll pretend that if *she* can’t get along with him, that means it’s bad for him to be around the children, all the while, the children paying the ticket!

          Sorry single mommies! But your target ended up being your children, not your ex! Well, at least you’ve been a consistently good shot!

          Now why don’t you go ahead and tell us all about how single mothers “live for their kids and it’s all about theirs kids and they’d do anything for their kids”.

          Except not scarring them for life, of course.

          Of course, as a *direct* cause of white Feminists belief that the uteris was God’s biggest mistake, white deaths now outnumber white births in the U.S. for the first time ever and by 2050, whites will be the minority. White Feminists are also now putting a much larger strain on health care, with repeated costly procedures to try to get pregnant much later in life (which the birth #’s prove isn’t working), after they realize that they were sold a false bill of goods.

          No, you can’t be “a full time mother and a full time career gal”. Why not? Well, Einstein explained it a long time ago. It basically deals with space and time. But to shorten it up: You can’t be in two places at once, idiots!

          Of course, these “have it all” Feminists are the same ones who call dads that have to work a lot, “absentee fathers”. Hmmm…

          And you can read even more studies now coming out, that show that women are nowhere near as happy as women who choose to be a wife and mother and home with their kids!

          Feminism = Self-Contradictory Hypocrisy

          I’m sorry, but anything that pits you against God’s Word to mankind, screws up your kids and KILLS OFF YOUR RACE, is simply not a good thing! Now does anybody really need more than this last paragraph to know that it’s time to abandon that ship?!

          Reply
          • March 24 at 9:02 am
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            Dave,
            I did not attack you, no, I called you on the lack of support you gave to your claims. And I stand by that statement. I supported my arguements. Not with google, with my late Dad’s Bible (mine is not unused by the way, I used his for sentimental reasons. All of my own Bibles are well worn). My dad wasn’t a pastor for 25 years though, no he was a Pastor 40 years and held 3 degrees from acclaimed Christian universities, including Doctrates. My Grandfather was a pastor for over 60 years and preached literally until the day he died. They were both respected by preacher men everywhere. Neither one of them would have used the term “butthurt” to describe a single mother. But then they also would NEVER have spent several paragraphs proudly listing their accomplishments in ministry, but then they were humble and knew it wasn’t about them. Of course, they also believed that the command for meekness was meant for Pastors as well. Now, If you think they raised a young lady who needed Google to support a Bibilical claim you would be wrong.
            Also, this “Feminazi” …another term they would never have used, btw, but then they believed the whole Bible, including Ephesians 4:32… spent 17 years as a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mom. My daughter graduated from Word of Life Bible Institute (where she served in leadership positions and traveled the country singing with the Collegians) and Clarks Summit University (with high honors). I have written my own comprehensive Bible History program and instituted youth and children educational programs at five churches (including 16 years of running Word of Life programs).
            Yeah, I’m real familiar with the “man honors a stay at home mom who keeps his house clean and his kids quiet lie that patriarchal obsessed preachers tell in order to keep the system which produces men who spend several paragraphs praising themselves instead of God. Also, your long postulations trying to will away Strong Biblical Female leadership is a great example of how overly arrogant preacher men can use circular reasoning in an attempt to keep their position of power. In other words, only using a narrow understanding that they likely learned from other preacher men who taught the classes where they received their Doctrates.
            I’ve spent my life witnessing men who gave up themselves and their pride to serve God. Men who studied the Bible for truth. So sorry, I remain unimpressed regarding the depth of your understanding.

  • March 18 at 10:58 pm
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    Hello,

    Okay, we all know about all the gender hysteria and there supposedly being hundreds of them.

    We also know about people being attacked for “cultural appropriation” for anything you do, even a yoga class being shut down because blacks claimed yoga is theirs.

    But seriously, if you thought your little boys were in trouble before you have got to read this one!!!

    Reply
  • April 4 at 9:49 pm
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    I agree with the majority of this mothers decisions. Teaching the girl how to hunt and trap and all that sounds alright, but im inclined to believe it wouldnt be necessary. It is nice to know we have a woman trying to preserve some masculinity in our society.

    Congratulations on your little miracle and thanks to your family as a whole – who knows, maybe a little Max will arrive in the future!

    Reply
  • April 8 at 5:37 am
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    As a mother to two boys, I have mixed feelings about this. I can understand your points about how children are very coddled these days (boys and girls). However, if one of my boys gets hurt and runs up to me, I’m certainly not going to tell them to “suck it up.” Those of us that have male children, still think of them as our babies. Because they are! They still need love, support, time to learn and grow.

    No, I’m not going to let my boys put on dresses or makeup. They will learn to fish and hunt from their daddy. I will be that strong female role model in their life. They will learn how to treat a woman properly, but again, they are still children who require love. I don’t want my boys to be afraid to talk about their feelings or come to me or someone else they love if they feel broken inside. My father and my husband are both stoic men, who have always kept their feelings bottled up inside. I love them both, but it doesn’t always produce a good outcome to be like that.

    Again, I see some of your points, and I do want my boys to grow up to be “real men,” but to me, part of that having a sensitive side if nothing else than to relate to their future wives and/or daughters…(or sons).

    Reply

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